Confession of Love.

 This is story of a friend i met another day. I have tried putting all his emotions in to the words..

Confession of Love.

[Day-1] The usual college schedule, documentation, term end submissions and study had made me a bit tired. My headache had set me in the room skipping the college Function Days organized right after our submissions. For the coming week we were supposed to celebrate different events and activities. Friendship day, Chocolate day, Odd day, Traditional Day and cultural night were off course most awaited days and the best part of the whole year. And I was about to miss the same. For my goodness, a group of my college friends came to my room and dragged me out. Hardly in 10 minutes I was taken to the college via canteen road. A cup of tea with friends had settled down my headache and I was ready to go way ahead. It was Friendship day. Boys and girls were roaming everywhere holding bunch of colorful friendship bands to tie them to their friend’s hand. Some of the boys and girls had put white t-shirt on them so that their friends could sign over it along with an optional comment. I had bought an autograph book to collect the signs and comments. That’s how luckily I came for the function and didn’t miss the chance to see college girls.

            In the corridor next to the library a group of girls and boys were posing stupidly for group photographs. A loud laugh from that group grabbed my attention and I stood on the way in-between. I moved forward when I saw a girl in that group smiling exceptionally beautiful. To my surprise the guy who was capturing her photograph in the same group was my friend. I thought of joining them but except him no one else was my good friend. I came closer to see that girl and just went from her side to get a closer look. This was the first time when I had even attempted this small effort to see a girl twice. She was off course smart enough to grab my attraction towards her. For the whole remaining day, I was trying to sight her out and see her activities in the college. I left my friends and started following her and to find if someone from her friends she was meeting was mutual to us. No wonder, at the end of the day I had her complete bio data with her personal mobile number. And that’s where my ladies friends helped me for getting her details off course

            [Day-2] Next day morning I was first one to make my friends ready to come out of the room. It was Chocolate day. She came to college with her friends. I managed to collide my friends group with her group and we started taking photographs. A Dairy Milk Chocolate box was waiting inside my bag to go in her hands. Everything was going according to my plan. We celebrated the function together and all of us went for lunch on the same day. At end of the day I had my good impression on her and she already had started including my name in her talks. I offered her my Chocolate while returning from our evening canteen snacks place. Late night that day I was back to the hostel lying on my bed watching her phone number. It was hard to believe even for me that her few conversions with me had acted like a drug to me. I had her number. I typed massages making different arrangements of word. But I could not dare to send her any of it that day. All I was thinking was that, I don’t want to make hurry. I don’t want to take a wrong step.

            [Day-7] College function week finished. Meanwhile she had showed up around in college a couple of times. Thanks to the social media that even after the function I could make a reason to stay in touch with her. I searched her name “Arohi”. I found her profile and quickly sent her friend request. Never before in past I had checked a site for any results than what I did to see her accepting my request. 7 pm around that day my phone beeped and I got a notification for her acceptance to my friendship. I almost jumped on my bed and immediately sent her a bold letter ‘THANKS!!!’ For the approval. “Oh really?? Why don’t you give me a treat then?” she replied with no delay. And that’s what I needed and I said, “Oh you stolen my lines. Actually I already had planes for that. Shall we go out for dinner? Tomorrow eve? 6 pm, Shiva temple? What say?”, “Oops…. I missed it dear…am at home” she replied. She had gone home right after the function. “I too missed it. Really missed actually :’( ” I replied and she said “Not a problem, we will go next week”.

Now, that gave me a shock. She was coming back in next week….7 days...That was a long time for the kind of affection I was suffering from. But I was not going to stop right there that day. We continued chatting. The discussion formally started with the class, study and exam kind of stuff and started growing with topics like choices, interests and hobbies. It was all new for me. Knowing a girl whom I like, in her own words was one of the joyful moments for me.(Yeah , I had started liking her no actually loving her.) It was like reading each page of her life with her eyes. I was so busy chatting her that I couldn’t notice the time and rushed to the mess when it was being closed by the owner. And I missed my dinner. I started feeling hungry after some time. But I was soon out of my hunger with the coming topics of our discussion. Our subjects rolled over from friends, family and favorite color/food/drinks/movies/actors etc. knowing someone this deep was never so exciting before…all the discussion on same day made us say GOOD NIGHT to each other at 6AM in the morning. Yeah, we chatted till morning 6 on the very first day. I headed straight to the canteen and had a tea. A morning cup of tea with sleepless night was like an achievement to me. The coming whole day went in reading all the massages from our yesterdays chat…

[Day-8] “Hiiiiiii……” I pinged her around 7 in the evening on following day. She didn’t reply. My digital watch beeped for hour reminder when it showed 8 PM. My worries went high. Meanwhile in one hour series of questions had already started a storm in my mind. Did I bore her last night? Did I ask her something wrong? Have I crossed her mind? Doesn’t she like my kind of boys? And suddenly a notification popped out of my mobile phone screen. “sry sry sry sry sry..I had gone outside with my sister so I could not reply you on time. M sry hn..Hiiiiiiiii” . I almost relieved a sigh of relief when I saw her message apologizing me for late reply. It meant a lot for me. It was an indication of ‘nothing has gone wrong so far’. I replied back with a recognizable feel of care “oh thank god. I was worried if I bored u last night, did I?” “No u didn’t, rather I was worried if I did”. We continued chatting till 12 pm but unfortunately her sister broke our discussion by entering in her room. We ended our chat with “have a dreamful night, take care”

Like the Constructive Interference in Physics our frequencies use to match each time to form a resonant frequency. And both of us then use to vibrate with that frequency forgetting the world outside. Talking to her was more like confessing myself in front of her. Excitement use to flow from her fingers on the phone to the text she typed to my phone and finally on my face in the form of smiles and even laughs at some time. And hopefully visa versa. Hardly in 4 days messages like, “oh c’mon, u r my best friend”, “we are best friends”, “miss you” and all had started popping up in our chats. Which factor made our friendship grew so fast was really a case of serious probe towards us which was again unknown to both of us. The week passed in the same way in chatting with her for the complete hours I use to stay awake in a single day.

[Day-13] One day before returning to college she went to attend her relative’s marriage. Marriages in India have unique trend among themselves. Few people actually come to see one couple getting married on stage and remaining people gets divided in to two categories. One , those who come to marriage for food and second those who keep looking everywhere to find a boy or girl present in marriage for their own son or daughter who is ready for marriage. There was no doubt that she will be caught by someone for a boy. Unfortunately a group of elderly people surrounded her and started asking questions. Right after the marriage that day, she was called off to the same elderly relative’s house with her parents. That night I asked her to come early to college to attend the cultural night. I had my performance enrolled on the day. I dint wanted to miss the chance to impress her. But she could not make it to college on the planned day and she missed my performance. I could not enjoy the day without her presence for my performance which led me to forget my dance steps and screw up the whole performance. But even that was not a matter of worry for me. The question was why she dint come?

[Day-15] She showed up next day in college. I was in corridor when I saw her in college main entrance. I saw her in her eyes. She saw me too. Current flooded in my body when she smiled at me. I was near to her. She was waiting if I will say something and I was waiting if she would say something. But neither of us could utter even a single word. She walked to college office for some work and I walked out of college with my friends. . May be only our sights were enough for us that day which full filed us and we could not say a word.

[Day-18] College had arranged a dinner night. That was the last day of our college after which we were supposed for have preparation leaves for final exam. That was the day after which we could not have met in college campus. So it was the last chance for me too to tell her my love. I was well prepared for everything. I dressed like a gentleman. Armani party wear jacket borrowed from my friend who got it form his friend, Red tie with trinity knot which I had learnt from an online tutorial naming “how to tie a tie”, Fast-Track Watch, Black formal shoes, Cleanly Shaven face, Perfume and a Paper gift bag which had A Gift, A Greeting card, A Dairy Milk Chocolate and A Letter kept in faint pink paper cover. Dinner started in the college campus under a perfectly decorated tent.

My eagerness to meet her was on peak. I was too excited to see her and now was the time for me to come out of the chats and have a face to face discussion with her. I had fantasized about our meeting. I had made different arrangements of words to make them sound better when I will talk to her. My roommate later told me that I was in front of the mirror completely for 2 hours making different hairstyles, practicing facial expressions and speech ascents. I spent a whole day in choosing the right gift to her. I took one more day for writing a letter. After a dustbin full of scraped letters and torn notebooks I was holding a final letter in my hand.

Final year students all over in new dresses, lightnings, Delicious food and its perfect smell spread everywhere had made the college campus very happening. My eyes were searching her. I skipped my friends so that I could get privacy. Finally I spotted her with her friends. She was looking amazingly beautiful. Her long Pink salwaar with green borders having lots of work on it made out of shining threads, Choodidar matching with Kameez , faint colored Choonari with small silver bells attached equidistant on narrow edges of it, this was a best outfit a girl can choose on a party. I stood in a corner watching at her so that I can talk her once she will be free. She came out of her friends group and started walking towards main gate. I moved forward to talk her but I saw her talking on her cell phone. She seemed worried. I could see something was definitely wrong. She left the party and started walking to hostel. I ran inside and called her friend Sakshi. Sakshi was mutual friend between me and Arohi. I asked her to check what happened to her. Sakshi followed Arohi to hostel and saw her crying in her room. I too quit the part and went back to room. Sakshi called me and told a shocking news that her father had called her and informed about her marriage in next month. I hung up the call and sat idle for couple of minutes. I had no clue what to do, whom to tell, where to go and how to ask her. 11pm that night I called her and pretended as if I don’t know whether she had come to party or not and asked her why didn’t she come. She replied she had an urgent work to do and just before 10 mins she got free. That day our discussion was quit silent. I was waiting for her to tell about the news. But she was hiding it. Then I started the subject. I asked her about her future plans. We discussed everything except marriage. She was still hiding it from me.

[Day-19] I waited till next day. But she didn’t tell me anything. She was in shock. I finally wrote her a long message confessing my feeling towards her.

“Dearest Arohi, I know something is wrong with you from last two days. And I know the reason of it. I know what situation you are suffering through. I know that you are getting married. And you know, I am happy. I am really. But there is something that is itching me from inside. It is a truth that you cannot be mine. Yes I love you. I love you from the day I saw you. Form the day one I am trying hard to be with you. You are the first girl who had made me eager to understand what u actually are. You are truly an amazing girl I have ever met. Your presence always made me happy. Your voice has always given piece to my soul. I know I am so mad to tell you this all at this very critical moment of your life. But I cannot help with that. I cannot stay with this unsaid truth throughout of my life that I loved you. But don’t you worry about me. I am not waiting for your answer because I myself wish you to marry that guy because you deserve more. You would call me mad for telling you my love in just few days after our friendship.But believe me I had chosen you on the day one. Hopefully this is my last message to you. It was a pleasure for me to be your friend . I have no regrets for anything. I thank you for the amazing moments and feeling you gave me in last couple of weeks.

I love you. I really do.”

A long silence after my message and my phone beeped… “I loved you toooo. Miss you.”

Her word “Loved” gave me all answers. Love letter had turned in to a goodbye letter , fantasies had turned in to impossible dreams , feelings had been trashed to the dustbin.

[After Three Years] Three years passed for that day. She has a kid now. She steps out of her Audi only to enter in to the house or into the market. Destiny has changed my way. I am still searching a better job. I am happy for what happened with her.I am happy that I confessed to her She definitely deserved more…..